Top Tier: The worst Star Wars video games | Mark
play them? I'd rather kiss a wookie
Our beloved "Star Wars" is probably the most milked cow in the huge stable of international entertainment franchises (perhaps only behind Pokémon). Since the appearance of the first film, everything has been done around it. Really everything: from action figures to official cereal bowls, from soap dispensers to board games. And, of course, video games.
And just as we love the Death Star waffle maker and hate the Christmas Special, video games have their fair share of dreams and nightmares. In a previous Top Tier of Gamer Nation, we told you about the best games that have been developed from this franchise. Now it's the turn of those who are better to know only from afar (or play them for pure morbidity).
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II (2010)
We started with the worst is the least worst, just because the Wii Remote offered you the chance to feel like a Jedi Knight wielding his lightsaber. Other than that, he has nothing else salvageable. The first part left us with a good character with a solid arc, and cloning him for the second part was not the best option; To this we must add that the combats were repetitive (not to say the same, but with different backgrounds), with challenges of similar difficulty and confusing camera movements, as well as certain errors in the response of the Wii remote (which did not happen with other titles). Bad, but not that bad, although bad enough that it was taken out of canon. Not even the Christmas Special happened to him.
Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon (2003)
The first video game in Star Wars history was a flight simulator, and for the very limited technology of its time, it's pretty good. This genre, therefore, is a must within the franchise. And they tried to do it on all their platforms, including the Game Boy Advance. The truth is, the graphic display is quite impressive (as is the case with many games on this portable console), but other than that, the game runs out quickly. The movement of the swift Millennium Falcon is, rather, bloated; the 3D attempt that pleases so much in the cinematics confuses a lot on the small screen and its soundtrack has about six songs (three of them, versions of the Imperial March). Good to play on the loading screens of another more interesting game.
Star Wars: Obi Wan (2001)
Developing the story of one of the greatest Jedi who ever lived offered so much... and the fall was resounding. Of all the exploration-action game attempts, this is one of the worst ever: static cutscenes and lousy voice acting open the door to missions where enemies run in circles, running away from you (which is very frustrating, because you don't there is a way to go faster) and they do not offer, in general, a great challenge. Your "Jedi training" is pretty much based on how fast you can hit the hit button, and the battle music is always the same. The worst thing is the pace: the transitions are slow, and in many of them there is text... too much text not to be an RPG. But is it "action"?
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi Arcade (1984)
Arcades are difficult. It's not a "crystal generation" thing, they were designed to be difficult because, with the right difficulty, the kids would spend all their tortilla money to be able to continue their game. But one thing is difficult Snowbros level. or The King of Fighters and another is Return of the Jedi. Each level is like THAT level from Battletoads (you know which one): a "race" around a stage to dodge obstacles and shoot enemies, while passing through various locations from Episode VI. Shoot and dodge, that's it. You better memorize those obstacles, because the reaction time is quite short, almost as long as the levels. Add to that some strange voices that emerge from the game from time to time and the experience becomes very disturbing. Postscript: the levels are repeated. Because arcade.
Star Wars: Yoda Stories (1997)
What happened in that time when Luke honed in the teachings of the force to become a Jedi? Well, someone answered this training... on the Game Boy Color. The graphics are not synonymous with a good game, but you do have to know how to work with what you have, and this game shows that not everyone can make a "top view" game, like Pokémon or The Legend of Zelda. The game doesn't offer much, the missions are repetitive, the combat is low, and the music... using the 8-bit Star Wars theme song 237 times in a row is not "sound design".
Star Wars: Masters of Teräs Käsi (1997)
With the wide variety of characters in this universe, a fighting video game still sounds like an excellent idea to this day. And that is why Masters of Teräs Käsi is seen, more than with disappointment, with hatred. In the first place, his approach is completely away from an equitable logic between characters. At least in Injustice the story justified why Nightwing could fight Superman with equal opportunities, but Han Solo against Darth Vader, almost bare-knuckle? A Stormtropper vs. Luke? And was it necessary to put Leia in her slave bikini? Add to that a terrible control response and no rhythm in the movement. One of the worst experiences on the PlayStation.
Star Wars: Super Bombad Racing (2001)
The franchise already has an excellent racing game based on Episode I. As much as you dislike the movie, the pod race is thrilling and was very well adapted to the video game. This one, on the other hand, has everything against it. Another deformed clone of Mario Kart, with characters that only cover Episode I due to an error in obtaining the license. We don't mind Darth Maul and Yoda, but nobody wants to use Chief Nass let alone Jar-Jar. As if that weren't enough, the tracks could easily be those of any racing game, hardly suggested that they have to do with Star Wars... and all this in a PlayStation 2 game? Bad bad. All wrong.
Kinect Star Wars (2012)
By unanimous decision in the history of video game publishing, this is the worst for a very particular reason: it disappointed us all, and it's only Microsoft's fault. When they announced it, they promised us a Jedi combat simulator with all the moves that had been leaked from other games, led us to believe that it would be the closest experience to being a real Jedi, and what did they give us instead? A game that had trouble capturing our movements in the middle of a poorly developed story, and where the kinect only worked well in ONE game mode: where you danced. In other words, the best thing about this Star Wars title was when it became Just Dance and not even, because Just Dance has more and better music. Stop. The writer of this note is already angry.
"You learn by spoiling" says popular wisdom, and this is a maxim of video games. For every great title, there are 5 not-so-good titles and 20 pretty bad ones. And we can always rescue something from bad titles: although it was frustrating to pay for them, they are interesting to see and learn about, just because. Except Kinect Star Wars, that one can be swallowed by a sarlacc. Do you think we missed a title on the list? Did you have the bad luck to buy any of these with the best expectation? At Nation Gamer we want to know your story of non-success.
